Living life to its fullest

WHen I was 24 I started getting sick, I was having horrible stomach aches, couldnt stop throwing up and kept going back to the doctor over and over again. It took about 6 weeks to finally figure out what was going on with me. After being in th ER in salt lake for multiple hours they decided to admit me to the hospital. The next morning a doctor came in and told me I was going to have a small surgical procedure. They were going to take a scope with a camera and put it down my throat and look at my pancreas. Thank goodness as soon as my parents heard I was in the hospital, they were on there way to Salt Lake. Time came and they took me into this scary room and hooked me up to all these machines and then sedated me. They discovered that my pancreas was full of stones and they cleaned them out, placed a shunt and I was on my way back to the room. They told us that I had pancreatitis and that I had a small chance of it recurring now that the shunt was placed. I was in the hospital just under a week and then my parents took me home. I think I was home 4 days and I was back in the ER with pain and more symptoms, unfortunately the pancreatitis had flared up again and they had to do another scope. This process of me going in and out of the hospital went on for 6 months before my parents decided it would be best that I moved back to Idaho and was closer to home. The hospital visits and stays continued until June 2006 when we went to Salt Lake and met up with a surgeon who told me he had to perform a very serious procedure or I was going to die. On July 6th I went in for surgery, it was 9 hours long, they ended up removing the top half of my pancreas and attaching my small intestine over it. They also removed my gall bladder because I was starting to have problems with it. The incision was 17 inches long straight down my stomach and when I woke up in my room I was in the most pain I have ever been in. I couldnt move and there were so many tubes hooked up to me, I dont know what I would have done if my mom and dad hadnt been right there. I could only walk about 10 feet the 1st day with a walker and my dads help and it gradually got better to where I could walk around the floor with my mom. My mom during this whole process was amazing, she stayed there the entire time and she made sure I was never alone if she had to leave for awhile. I couldnt have asked for a better support team. After 10 long days in the hospital I was able to go home and let me tell you that was the most uncomfortable ride home EVER!!!!! I got home and it was a daily struggle just to get out of bed, luckily my mom stayed with me to make sure I was ok. I slowly started to recover and got back to normal well what was normal me. After my surgery things got back to normal and I wasnt going to the hospital anymore, all I had to deal with was pain control and to me that was amazing, I went a year without being in the hospital and I thought that this nightmare was over. In the end of 2007 I Started having problems again, I couldnt stop throwing up and I didnt know what was wrong, it took many trips to the ER and many visits to my dr and they finally decided it was time form e to have another scope. After the scope the dr came in and told me that I had gastroparesis, which means my stomach is paralyzed. They prescibed me a motility medication to help me with the processing of my food and was going to see how that would help, well it didnt. In november we decided to go visit the surgeon again in salt lake and he decided that I needed a gastroectomy, which he was going to remove 80% of my stomach, so in december I was back in the or. I wasscared because last surgery was a night mare, but I was ready to deal with whatever was thrown my way. The surery lasted quite a long time, I had a new 15 inch incision and wasnt comfortable at all, but this time I knew how to get up and move around and despite all the tubes and equipment sticking out of me I was able to walk around. I spent 7 days in the hospital and I demanded to my surgeon that I wanted to go home. When I got home the recovery was the same as before and I had to learn how to eat all over again. Things got a little better but the throwing up never stopped. Since that surgery I have been continously sick and things just havent seemed to want to take a change for the better. When I moved back to Rexburg to be really close to my parents I ended up in MArch 2009 in the hospital and had a feeding tube surgically placed in my small intestine, I could no longer handle eating anything. It was a night mare. I had to give my self feedings of only liquid thru a tube. I hated it. I was so weak and couldnt really do anything, I was missing out on anything and it was really depressing. Since then I have gotten to wear I can eat again, but have to be careful of everything I eat, The er visits havent stopped or the pain, I know go to a pain clinic to help manage it and it has been better, but there are days where I cant get out of bed. I am now at the point where I am once again reintroducing food to my system and its hard, I am having a pain pump that will be attached to my spine placed in june, I am also having a central permanent line placed as well. IT is a day to day, minute to minute struggle. I dont know what is going to happen, but I know I am going to stay as positive as I can and keep pushing forward. I cant thank my family, my mom, my friends all the support they have given me and continue to give. I will keep you all updated as things move along. Also I Want to thank Brandon, he is my night in shining armor, I couldnt imagine someone giving so much of themselves to help another person, I love you baby, I hope this gives you all a look into my struggles that I have endured and understand me a little more, thank you for all your support.